Lurnin is a skary bidness.

I can't be sure when my aversion to school started but I think it was somewhere around my first day of Kindergarten. I always hated having to leave home and go be with people who either made fun of me or I had a crush on. (I remember giving Brandon Spangler my FAVORTIE purple crayon when I was five. This was a clear sign of my affection. An affection that lasted for nine years. The purple crayon thing didn't work....)

Anyway so back to my never liking school. My real dislike was mostly in high school and this was for many reasons. I blame my poor childhood diet for one. I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted totally unmonitored. A typical dinner would consist of a hamburger with some white bread and as much coke as I could drink. Dessert? Well, that depends? How many swiss cake rolls we got?

I wasn't encouraged to be active so I wasn't. My mom was gone to work so I just watched TV all night after the inevitable rehearsal or five hour conversation with whomever I was dating at the time. Whatever. I didn't sleep well as a result and getting up for school was grueling. I couldn't concentrate.

Then there were other things *excuses* like pining away for an older gentleman, dreaming of my career in showbiz and learning LINES LINES LINES god damnit. I did okay, but it was tough. Not because I'm stupid but because I didn't care.

Fast forward to now. I'm ready to change my life and my unhappiness in my current career choice and I genuinely want to plunge face first into the ASL program. I'm terrified that I won't be able to grasp the information. I'm terrified that my artist side will slowly be smothered under mounds of homework. I'm scared I won't like it as much as I think I will now. Ill have to quit work to do this and I'm scared that there won't be enough money.

Sometimes, even when you see them coming, you aren't ready for the big moments.

I've been dreaming of going back to school for years and I finally can. I'm so scared about it but I know that this opportunity is so rare. I have to take it, scared or no. I'm going to.

But seriously, can someone take my math tests for me?